What If I Snap? (And Other Thoughts You’re Afraid to Say Out Loud)

Intrusive Thoughts. 

We all have them - brief, unwanted and distressing thoughts that pop into our minds. 

Picture this:

You’re driving on Highway 1 looking out over the Pacific Ocean. Suddenly, a thought flashes through your mind,  What if I drove my car off this cliff? Just as quickly, it’s gone.  You return to singing along with the music playing in your car, the warm sun on your arm as it hangs out the window. It never occurs to you that this fleeting thought could be disturbing.

These kinds of thoughts are normal, experienced by nearly everyone. Simply having a thought does not mean you want to act on it.

But for someone struggling with anxiety, perfectionism or OCD, intrusive thoughts can feel far more distressing. They might believe that having a thought, any thought, makes it real, that it must mean something significant. 

Now picture this:

You’re driving on Highway 1, gazing at the ocean, when that same thought appears, What if I drove my car off this cliff? But instead of passing, it lingers. Am I suicidal? Do I want to die? I don’t think I want to die. What if I snap and veer my wheel into the guardrail out of my control?” Your heart starts racing. Your stomach churns. You grip the wheel a little tighter.

Or maybe you are a new parent, and different thoughts plague you: 

“What if I drop my baby?

What if I walk away from my baby while she’s in the bath and she slips under the water? Then the doubts creep in - Am I a terrible parent? Do I even love my child? Am I connected to them?

When these thoughts race through your mind, it can feel overwhelming. You might even wonder if you’re losing your grip on reality. But you are not going crazy. As unsettling as they are, intrusive thoughts do not define you.

One of the most effective ways to take power away from these thoughts is to externalize them. Write them down. Say them out loud to a trusted person. When intrusive thoughts stay trapped in your mind, they can feel huge and unbearable - but once outside of you, their grip starts to loosen.  

Intrusive thoughts can center around harm, morality, parenting, relationships - the list goes on. So how do you cope?

• Normalize them. Having a thought does not equal intent. 

• Accept and allow. Instead of resisting the thought, acknowledge it and let it pass through your mind like a cloud in the sky. 

• Practice mindfulness. Try grounding techniques to prevent spiraling. Have you read my blog post about Box Breathing?

• Seek Support. If these thoughts feel unmanageable, cause significant distress, or interfere with your daily life, reach out for help. There is no shame in asking for support. 

Intrusive thoughts are just that - thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You are so much more. And who you are is amazing.