When Your Partner Goes Back to Work Postpartum
Whether it’s two weeks or two months after having a baby, the day your partner returns to work can feel like another tidal wave of transition. Just as you were beginning to find your footing in new parenthood, suddenly you’re navigating another major shift, this time often on your own during the day. In my work with new parents, both in individual sessions and support groups, I’ve seen how common and overwhelming this transition feels. You are not alone in these anxious thoughts.
The Layered Transitions
Postpartum is already a season of immense change. You’ve just experienced birth, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Maybe you’re a first-time parent finding your rhythm. Maybe you’re adjusting to parenting multiple children, juggling newborn needs with an older child’s. Either way, it’s a lot.
And then, life moves forward. Your partner goes back to work. For them, there’s a return to normal routines: showering in peace, driving alone, interacting with other adults, having moments of identity outside of parenting. For you, it can feel like the world just got heavier, like you’re left holding everything at home while they reenter a piece of themselves.
The Hard Feelings No One Talks About
It’s normal to feel a cocktail of emotions:
Resentment that your partner gets to escape for a while.
Jealousy that they have pieces of their old identity intact.
Anger that you’re the one stuck in spit-up-covered clothes, figuring out nap schedules, cluster feeds, and endless laundry.
Loneliness that hits harder in the quiet stretches of the day.
You can love your partner and still feel these things. Both can be true. These exact feelings have come up again and again with my clients lately, especially the loneliness during the day once a partner is back at work. Naming them helps lessen the shame, because so many new parents share this experience.
How to Stay Grounded When You’re Home
While you can’t change the fact that your partner has returned to work, you can support yourself through this season:
Get out of the house. Even if it’s just a stroller walk around the block or sitting in your yard, a change of scenery can work wonders for your nervous system.
Ask for help. This is not the time to white-knuckle independence. Call a friend, invite your mom over, or lean on local resources like postpartum groups or drop-in centers.
Schedule check-ins. A quick text or call from your partner at lunch can make you feel less alone and keep you both connected.
Plan something to look forward to. Whether it’s a nap when your partner gets home, watching a favorite show, or a simple bath, having one thing on the horizon helps break up the day.
Acknowledge your identity. You’re more than just the parent who stayed home. Find small ways to nourish yourself, reading a page of a book, listening to a podcast, moving your body gently.
I often encourage the parents I work with to experiment with one or two of these strategies each week. In my postpartum support group, members have shared how even something small, like going outside for a walk, can make the day feel lighter.
Remember, It’s Temporary
This stage can feel never-ending, but it won’t last forever. Babies grow. Routines shift. With time, you’ll find your new normal as a family. For now, give yourself permission to feel the hard feelings and ask for what you need. You’re not failing, you’re human. And if you notice anxiety or resentment feels overwhelming, know that reaching out for support, whether through therapy or a parent group, can make a meaningful difference.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to support you. You can read more on my blog or connect with me here to learn more about therapy and postpartum support.
