Navigating the Holidays as New Parents
For many new parents in Sonoma and Marin County, San Francisco and Northern California, this year’s holiday season feels extra meaningful, it’s your baby’s first. There’s excitement in the air: imagining the photos, the matching pajamas, the smells and sounds that will someday become your family’s traditions. But along with all that joy can come a heavy dose of stress. Suddenly you’re juggling nap schedules, feeding routines, travel logistics, and the emotional weight of family expectations, all while running on less sleep than usual.
If this resonates, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about how to find balance this season, so you can enjoy it, instead of just survive it.
1. Slow It Down
The holidays tend to move fast, but your baby doesn’t need a packed itinerary, and neither do you. It’s okay (and often necessary) to say no to things that feel like too much. If your December schedule is anything like mine, you may already have plans every weekend this month. One less holiday party might do the family good. Fewer events often mean fewer meltdowns, for both you and your baby. Think about what feels most meaningful this year and give yourself permission to let the rest go.
2. Protect Routines (as Best You Can)
Babies thrive on predictability, and so do tired parents. If you’re traveling or hosting, try to keep naps and meals close to your usual rhythm. Bring familiar comforts, their sound machine, a favorite blanket, or bedtime book, to help your baby settle in a new space. And if things go off schedule? That’s okay. Flexibility is key; you can always recalibrate once you’re home.
3. Create Your Family Traditions
You’re in the beginning stages of shaping what holidays will look like for your family in the years ahead. Maybe that means cozy mornings at home, a neighborhood walk before dinner, or a quiet evening lighting candles. Traditions don’t have to be elaborate, they just need to feel authentic to you.
Sometimes that means gently communicating boundaries to extended family about how you’d like to spend your time. You might be surprised how meaningful simple, slower moments become. I also recommend checking in with your partner about the holiday traditions you’d both like to incorporate into your new nuclear family, from your own childhoods.
4. Navigate Family Dynamics Mindfully
For many parents, the hardest part of the holidays isn’t the travel or the logistics, it’s the people. You might be excited to introduce your baby to relatives and also anxious about unsolicited advice, boundary-pushing, or unresolved family tension. Many of my client sessions this past month, we’ve made plans for how to navigate grandparents who won’t stop kissing your baby, or the well meaning grandparent who takes you new baby into another room (and out of your sight!).
Before you go, talk with your partner (or support person) about what you both need, how to tag-team during visits, when to take breaks, and how to politely exit conversations that start to feel uncomfortable. A few phrases like “We’re still figuring out what works best for us right now” or “Thanks for the suggestion!” can go a long way. It can also be helpful if each partner takes responsibility for setting expectations and boundaries with their own family members.
5. Stay Local if That’s What You Need
It’s okay if travel just isn’t in the cards this year. Staying home doesn’t mean you’re missing out, it means you’re prioritizing rest and connection in this new season of life. There will be many holidays ahead for big gatherings and cross-country trips; it’s okay if this one is quieter.
6. Make Space for All the Feelings
You might feel gratitude, nostalgia, loneliness, or grief, sometimes all in the same afternoon. Don’t forget the sleep deprivation and hormonal shifts birthing parents may also still be navigating. The first holiday season after becoming a parent can bring up tender emotions about your own childhood, your relationship with your parents, or how traditions have changed. Be gentle with yourself as you move through it.
If you find the stress or emotions feel heavier than expected, it may help to reach out for support. Talking with a friend, a therapist or joining a new parent support group can offer a place to process, reflect, and find your footing again.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
Whether your holiday season looks like cozy pajamas and takeout or a full family dinner with all the trimmings, it doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Your baby won’t remember the details — but they will feel your presence, your calm, and your love.
✨ Wishing all of you Bay Area families (and beyond!) a season that feels grounded, connected, and true to you.
